Club Aims To Ensure LGBTQIA People Have A Birthday Celebration

 HARWICH – Birthdays are a significant marker in life, and they should be fun and joyous days for those celebrating and for the parents who dedicate the time and responsibility to raising children.

But that is not always the case, especially with LGBTQIA folks who become estranged from family, said Katie McManus. The lack of a birthday phone call from a parent because of that can be painful, she said.

McManus, a Harwich resident who ran for the select board in May and fell short by 54 votes, wants to put birthday smiles back on the faces of members of the LGBTQIA community who have experienced that estrangement. She has established The Gay Birthday Club, a non-profit that will reach out to members of the community with a call wishing them a happy birthday and maybe even singing “Happy Birthday.”

“Sadly, nearly 50 percent of LGBTQIA adults are estranged from family due to lack of acceptance. We’re working to change that, one joyful, over-the-top birthday at a time,” said McManus.    

 The organization recently received its 501C(3) non-profit status. McManus has a board of directors, has established a bank account and a website, www.gaybirthdayclub.org. She said the money she raises through donations will offset the minimal cost of running the nonprofit, and any additional funds will be provided to other nonprofit organizations doing serious work benefiting LGBTQIA communities.

The idea of creating the club came to her about a year-and-a-half ago while she was communicating with a friend on Linkedin who told her his birthday used to be his favorite day of the year, with calls from his parents wishing him a happy birthday. She said he had a complicated relationship with his father, but his dad always called on his birthday.

That changed when her friend revealed his transgender identity to his family, said McManus. 

“That stopped the birthday calls, and his birthday became a reminder that he wasn’t loved anymore by one of his parents,” McManus said.

McManus said she called her friend a couple of days later wishing him a belated happy birthday, and he was very excited and grateful for the phone call.

“There are so many problems in the world that can make you feel powerless, but here’s something I can do,” said McManus.

She started calling friends around the country, put a board of directors together and pursued non-profit status. Among the board members, she said, is Fourth Barnstable District State Representative Hadley Luddy, D-Orleans.

“We can make this fun, focusing on joy and fun,” said McManus. “If we can step in and show them they are loved, that’s our deed.” 

 McManus did a light promotion on TikTok and in a short time had 336 followers, and the number is growing daily. The goal, she said, is to get 1,000 people signed up for phone calls on their birthday. McManus said she will make the birthday phone calls, but she has a dedicated board of directors willing to help out. 

The first happy birthday phone call was scheduled for June 30, McManus said. Phone calls will be within the United States initially, but as the program grows international calls will be considered, she added.    

 McManus said she has been raising funds by asking people on a one-on-one basis to make a donation.

 She hopes to roll out training and support programs for families with members who have come out. McManus also said she would like to put together a Gay Birthday Club artisan gift shop to help raise funds for the program.     

 A birthday party to draw attention to the organization’s goals is also planned. She was hoping to throw such a party in Provincetown this summer, but timing will probably not allow it.   

 When not working on her latest project, McManus serves as a business coach and speaker. She has dedicated her career to building communities and supporting purpose-driven individuals, especially in underserved and LGBTQIA spaces, she wrote in an email to The Chronicle.

As for another run for the select board, she chose not to make any declarations at this time. Her father, Ed McManus, served several terms as a Harwich selectman.

“My dad has been a staunch supporter of gay rights since before I was born,” she said. “My parents would accept me whoever I am.”