Death Was No Stranger To Hospice Nurse Kathy Budreski

BREWSTER – While she did not originate the concept of the “Death Cafe,” Kathleen Budreski was instrumental in bringing the sessions in which participants confront the end of life to the Lower Cape area.

 “It was just so refreshing, because in the normal world, people don’t want to talk about death,” said Amanda Murphy, who facilitated Death Cafe sessions with Mrs. Budreski at the Center for the Spiritual Journey in Chatham. “They give you a funny look and move on. Not a popular topic for most people.”

 But it was something that Mrs. Budreski, who also worked as a hospice nurse, did not shy away from. She completed her own journey on Earth on July 25 at the age of 83. A service honoring her life will be held Sunday, Sept. 3, at 2 p.m. at First Parish Brewster, where she was a longtime member.

 Mrs. Budreski was remembered as a compassionate, caring person who was most happy when she was around family and friends, said her daughter, Anjali Budreski. As a hospice nurse and bereavement counselor, “end of life care was a big part of what she did.” Before she found herself in hospice care, Mrs. Budreski made exacting preparations for her own end of life, said her daughter.

 “She just faced it all ahead of time and had it completely planned out, start to finish,” she said. “She was not afraid to talk about end of life issues, even though she was struggling with cancer.”

 Mrs. Budreski lived with cancer for 18 years, her daughter said, but maintained a high quality of life until shortly before her death.

 Service was a major part of Mrs. Budreski’s life. At age 25, she went to Bogota, Columbia, to work as a nurse with war victims, and she took several trips to Haiti as a volunteer nurse at a remote mountain clinic.

 Mrs. Budreski worked as a registered nurse for many years. She was also a psychiatric nurse and substance abuse counselor. She was a member of Chatham’s community youth task force that worked to support parents and community members after several young people took their lives around 2001. The goal, she said at the time, was to provide a place where parents could feel supported and less isolated when dealing with parenting issues.

 After attending Emmanuel College and Bridgewater State University, Mrs. Budreski became a registered nurse, eventually moving into hospice and bereavement counseling. She moved to the Cape from Hanover around 2003 or 2004 to a house she built with her husband Fred on Sheep Pond, her daughter recalled. She leaves her daughter, two sons and two grandchildren. She was living in Yarmouth at the time of her death.

 “She had strong convictions,” said Anjali. “She had a deep sense of purpose, and she could even be a little bit feisty and fiery.” Although she had prepared for her death, she said she was not ready to leave her family and friends, her daughter said. 

“She didn’t want to miss out on anything,” she said.