Grief 101: A Community Conversation About Loss

What do you say to someone whose loved one has just died? 

If you wrestle with the right thing to say, or decide it is better to say nothing, you might be among the many who struggle to support those who have experienced loss.

 "Grief 101," being held at the Eldredge Public Library on Feb. 13 at 5:30 p.m., is the start of a community conversation to answer that question. The South Harwich-based nonprofit Sharing Kindness, leading this effort, will start by explaining the basics of grief, according to Lauren Shea, the Eldedge Library staffer coordinating the event. 

 Grief is a natural response to loss, and many bereaved people report feeling misunderstood and abandoned by their friends, who struggle to understand how to help. According to Shea, Grief 101 will cover what grief is, how it impacts our brains and our bodies, and how we can support people in our lives who are going through it.

 Many people are still uncomfortable talking about grief, according to Kimberely Mead-Walters, M.D., executive director and co-founder of Sharing Kindness. The topic is often avoided, as a result, and "remains shrouded in stigma, which can lead to a lack of support for the grieving," she said. Sharing Kindness serves the Cape, providing grief support, suicide awareness and mental health education programs. She helped start the group after her 16-year-old son Jeremy died by suicide. 

 Grief 101 is part of a series of presentations being offered at no charge to local libraries on the Cape and the Islands. Funded by a grant from the Network of the National Library of Medicine (NNLM) and developed with the involvement of local library staff members, the presentations are led by Sharing Kindness-trained clinicians.

 You might think a presentation called Grief 101 was not for you if you hadn't recently experienced the death of loved one. Shea wants us all to understand the nature of grief. "Grief is so multilayered," she said, "and comes in so many forms." 

 Shea has seen library patrons coming in searching for a wide range of resources at challenging times. They may not think what they are going through is grieving, Shea says, but people may grieve a family member's diagnosis of Alzheimer's; they may grieve during a transition phase of life like retirement that may result in severe loneliness; they may grieve even during an otherwise happy event, like graduating and moving on from a college experience they have treasured. 

 A variety of resources have been created to accompany the program. Available at sharingkindness.org/grief-support-resources, they include downloadable PDFs with recommended support services and media like websites, tip sheets, books and podcasts. 

 In addition, a Child’s Grief Book Pack is being gifted to each library that hosts a presentation. It includes 11 books for children grieving a death or loss that have been vetted by the organization and partner librarians. Host libraries will have the book pack available for parents and caregivers to check out as needed. 

 Grief 101 is being offered at no charge from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. in the Forgeron Hall at the library. Registration is encouraged at www.eldgredgelibrary.org but not required.