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Linda And Gloria Bailey-Davies’ Love Helped Change History
Linda, left, and Gloria Bailey-Davies of Orleans were one of seven same-sex couples who sued in the landmark 2001 court case that won the right to marry for same-sex couples. COURTESY PHOTO
Linda, second from left, and Gloria Bailey-Davies of Orleans at their May 17, 2004 wedding on Nauset Beach, one of the first same-sex marriages in the country. COURTESY PHOTO
As of 2022, more than 740,500 same-sex couples had gotten married in the U.S., according to a census report. That’s nearly 1.5 million people — and many more since — who can trace their legal and social wedded status back in part to Linda and Gloria Bailey-Davies of Orleans.
It’s also a number that Linda says she’s found heartening as the rights of LGBTQ+ people are increasingly threatened by policies and goals of conservative politicians nationwide.
“Our job now is we have to keep telling our story over and over and over to demonstrate that we did it once,” Gloria agrees. “We started with hardly any support, and now there’s a huge amount of support. To all the young people now, the message is ‘We can do it again.’ And we can make sure to the best of our abilities that [rescinding same-sex marriage and other LGBTQ+ rights] does not happen.”
Linda, 79, and Gloria, 84, have been together for 55 years. They fell in love in 1970 while working as psychotherapists at a children’s mental health agency in Connecticut, initially bonding over playing ping pong. They’ve been married 21 years as of last month’s anniversary of their ceremony at Nauset Beach. They were among the first same-sex couples to marry after Massachusetts became the first state to allow such weddings.
In 2001, they were one of seven same-sex couples who were plaintiffs in the landmark state Supreme Judicial Court case Goodridge v. Department of Public Health that, with a 2003 decision, legalized same-sex marriage. Other states followed, until 2015 — 10 years ago this month — in a 5-4 decision in the case of Obergefell v. Hodges, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled all American same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry.
The couple will be grand marshals for the June 14 Lower Cape Pride “people-powered” parade in Orleans. They were chosen, organizers said in their announcement, because the Bailey-Davies’ are “true Pride Pioneers” whose love “helped change history.”
Linda called the parade and Pride weekend particularly exciting because of all the young people involved. Gloria notes many don't remember the fight but should take courage from that “giant sea change” 20 years ago.
Back in 2003, only about one-third of Americans supported same-sex marriage, according to Gallup poll figures. As of May 2024, that same poll shows 69 percent of Americans think same-sex marriage should be legal. While 9.3 percent of U.S. adults overall in 2024 identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or something other than heterosexual, 23.1percent — or nearly one-quarter — of Gen Z adults (born between 1997 and 2006) identified as LGBTQ+
“We can win if we all fight together and we all put ourselves out there,” Linda says firmly. “I’d tell young people to never give up. We’ll do it together, as one large community of people.”
Linda grew up in Wisconsin, Gloria in Maine, but both were drawn to the Cape — Gloria for the coastline and Linda, she admits with a laugh, because of the Patti Page 1957 “Old Cape Cod” song. They began camping at Sweetwater Forest in Brewster, then got a cottage near there in 1976 before buying their year-round antique home in a wooded part of Orleans in 1985.
They have shared that home, since renovated and expanded, with various animals, and they’ve enjoyed tennis and golf here — Gloria got a hole-in-one in Brewster at age 75 — plus love of the water. “We’ve done everything that’s possible to do there,” Gloria says. “We’ve sailed, we’ve motorboated, we’ve fished. We’ve gathered our own lobsters and mussels and clams and scallops.”
They’ve also found a welcoming, long-supportive community at First Parish Brewster Unitarian Universalist church. It was there that they held their “soul wedding” in July 2003, and they’ve been heavily involved in various groups. They’ve also helped to organize the annual Gayla Ball, held the week before Valentine’s Day for the past 25 years in Hyannis. That was the first place they danced together in public when not in a gay bar.
When they initially moved to the Lower Cape, the couple would drive weekly to Hartford for their private psychotherapy practice, including counseling gay couples and using a “vulnerability contract” style they say saved their relationship and still helps them navigate marriage. Over the years, the two cut back work gradually to get more Cape time, closing their Connecticut practice and stopping that commute 19 years ago. But life-coaching continued, which Linda still occasionally does for phone clients.
It was during one of those Connecticut commutes in November 2003 that they realized a decision would be handed down in their landmark court case, and they changed course to Boston instead. Gloria would not commit to marriage for the 2½ years the same-sex marriage Massachusetts case was in limbo. But when news of success came over the car radio that day, Linda proposed again to a weeping Gloria, and she then said yes.
The couple particularly wanted the legal status because of concerns that they wouldn’t be able to make medical and other decisions together. They acknowledged being hesitant when GLAAD, the national Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, asked them to represent the Cape area in the Massachusetts lawsuit. Linda jokes they were “the Golden Girls” of a group chosen to represent different parts of the state, and different genders and races of same-sex couples.
That meant becoming the public face of a controversial topic. “We were out publicly, to everybody in the church and all our friends, but not everybody in town for sure,” Linda says. “When you’re gay, especially when you’re older, you were raised in the same society as everyone else so you have internalized homophobia.”
Linda almost refused at the thought of walking into Orleans Town Hall to try to get, and be denied, a marriage license — which was the basis for the lawsuit. “I was really scared,” Linda says, and looks at Gloria. “I was more scared than you were.” Gloria’s calm response: “I was going to do it even though I was scared.”
Church support helped them decide to take a stand for what they believed in, but when the lawsuit was announced, and their photo was unexpectedly on the front page of the Cape Cod Times, Gloria didn’t want to venture beyond home for days. Feelings changed as support grew.
Back in 2003, only about one-third of Americans supported same-sex marriage, according to Gallup poll figures. As of May 2024, that same poll shows 69 percent of Americans think same-sex marriage should be legal. While 9.3 percent of U.S. adults overall in 2024 identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or something other than heterosexual, 23.1percent — or nearly one-quarter — of Gen Z adults (born between 1997 and 2006) identified as LGBTQ+
“We can win if we all fight together and we all put ourselves out there,” Linda says firmly. “I’d tell young people to never give up. We’ll do it together, as one large community of people.”
Linda grew up in Wisconsin, Gloria in Maine, but both were drawn to the Cape — Gloria for the coastline and Linda, she admits with a laugh, because of the Patti Page 1957 “Old Cape Cod” song. They began camping at Sweetwater Forest in Brewster, then got a cottage near there in 1976 before buying their year-round antique home in a wooded part of Orleans in 1985.
They have shared that home, since renovated and expanded, with various animals, and they’ve enjoyed tennis and golf here — Gloria got a hole-in-one in Brewster at age 75 — plus love of the water. “We’ve done everything that’s possible to do there,” Gloria says. “We’ve sailed, we’ve motorboated, we’ve fished. We’ve gathered our own lobsters and mussels and clams and scallops.”
They’ve also found a welcoming, long-supportive community at First Parish Brewster Unitarian Universalist church. It was there that they held their “soul wedding” in July 2003, and they’ve been heavily involved in various groups. They’ve also helped to organize the annual Gayla Ball, held the week before Valentine’s Day for the past 25 years in Hyannis. That was the first place they danced together in public when not in a gay bar.
When they initially moved to the Lower Cape, the couple would drive weekly to Hartford for their private psychotherapy practice, including counseling gay couples and using a “vulnerability contract” style they say saved their relationship and still helps them navigate marriage. Over the years, the two cut back work gradually to get more Cape time, closing their Connecticut practice and stopping that commute 19 years ago. But life-coaching continued, which Linda still occasionally does for phone clients.
It was during one of those Connecticut commutes in November 2003 that they realized a decision would be handed down in their landmark court case, and they changed course to Boston instead. Gloria would not commit to marriage for the 2½ years the same-sex marriage Massachusetts case was in limbo. But when news of success came over the car radio that day, Linda proposed again to a weeping Gloria, and she then said yes.
The couple particularly wanted the legal status because of concerns that they wouldn’t be able to make medical and other decisions together. They acknowledged being hesitant when GLAAD, the national Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, asked them to represent the Cape area in the Massachusetts lawsuit. Linda jokes they were “the Golden Girls” of a group chosen to represent different parts of the state, and different genders and races of same-sex couples.
That meant becoming the public face of a controversial topic. “We were out publicly, to everybody in the church and all our friends, but not everybody in town for sure,” Linda says. “When you’re gay, especially when you’re older, you were raised in the same society as everyone else so you have internalized homophobia.”
Linda almost refused at the thought of walking into Orleans Town Hall to try to get, and be denied, a marriage license — which was the basis for the lawsuit. “I was really scared,” Linda says, and looks at Gloria. “I was more scared than you were.” Gloria’s calm response: “I was going to do it even though I was scared.”
Church support helped them decide to take a stand for what they believed in, but when the lawsuit was announced, and their photo was unexpectedly on the front page of the Cape Cod Times, Gloria didn’t want to venture beyond home for days. Feelings changed as support grew.
“When we had to go to town hall the first time, I was quivering,” Linda says. “The second time, three-and-a-half years later, I was so proud to go into town hall. I was excited, and that was the transformation. People came with us carrying balloons.”
With as much publicity as they’ve gotten over the decades, both women emphasize that many other court plaintiffs nationwide, and many allied individuals and groups, have helped make sweeping social change happen for the LGBTQ+ community.
“Our job was to let the world see how ‘normal’ we really were. There were so many negative stereotypes” Gloria says. “But so many people who weren’t part of the lawsuit were working frantically hard.”
That type of widespread work continues, they note, as particularly transgender rights are being questioned and violated. “I think the trans youth are among the most vulnerable,” Gloria says. “They’re kind of where we were 20 years ago. They’re just beginning to be visible and to speak out and get support.”
Linda notes that First Parish holds panels a couple of times a year on trans issues, and about 50 trans people attended this year’s Gayla Ball. Some event proceeds this year were donated to a woman who runs support groups for trans youth.
With so much change, have the Bailey-Davieses realized how many people’s lives they’ve affected by having the courage to put themselves and their love on display?
“We've taken that in very gradually, but I’m there now and have realized how important that was and how much courage it took," Gloria says. "At the time, we were just slogging through it.”
Linda notes that they’re still often recognized by strangers and remembers a Florida baseball game a couple of years ago where a woman stopped to thank them, saying “My son married his boyfriend because of you.”
“We think of all the people before us who endured so much vitriol, and the people who were killed. We think of the people whose shoulders we’re standing on, and all the allies,” Gloria says. “It’s all of us together — that’s what changes everything.”
With as much publicity as they’ve gotten over the decades, both women emphasize that many other court plaintiffs nationwide, and many allied individuals and groups, have helped make sweeping social change happen for the LGBTQ+ community.
“Our job was to let the world see how ‘normal’ we really were. There were so many negative stereotypes” Gloria says. “But so many people who weren’t part of the lawsuit were working frantically hard.”
That type of widespread work continues, they note, as particularly transgender rights are being questioned and violated. “I think the trans youth are among the most vulnerable,” Gloria says. “They’re kind of where we were 20 years ago. They’re just beginning to be visible and to speak out and get support.”
Linda notes that First Parish holds panels a couple of times a year on trans issues, and about 50 trans people attended this year’s Gayla Ball. Some event proceeds this year were donated to a woman who runs support groups for trans youth.
With so much change, have the Bailey-Davieses realized how many people’s lives they’ve affected by having the courage to put themselves and their love on display?
“We've taken that in very gradually, but I’m there now and have realized how important that was and how much courage it took," Gloria says. "At the time, we were just slogging through it.”
Linda notes that they’re still often recognized by strangers and remembers a Florida baseball game a couple of years ago where a woman stopped to thank them, saying “My son married his boyfriend because of you.”
“We think of all the people before us who endured so much vitriol, and the people who were killed. We think of the people whose shoulders we’re standing on, and all the allies,” Gloria says. “It’s all of us together — that’s what changes everything.”
